Dirty Little Secrets
by Wellsy71
Summary: What will two desperate individuals do to get revenge? Rat out their friends of course! Contains some non-explicit adult situations, some swearing. Pairings: Irvine/Selphie, Quistis/Seifer, Squall/Rinoa, Zell/Library Girl, Xu/Nida. Complete.
1. Who to Blame

A/N: This is just something that just came to my head a few days ago and I thought that I'd write it down. Please note it's nothing serious and I find this to be a strange thing to happen considering it's completely different to my other works. Anyway I hope you enjoy it.

Warning for all chapters: Non-explicit adult situations (LIME), some swearing

Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or anything related to it, they are the property of Square.

**

* * *

****Dirty, Little Secrets**

**Part One: Who to Blame**

Selphie and Irvine emerged from Cid's office on the third floor, both of them had disgusted looks planted on their faces. Cid had called them up after he heard of a 'particular situation' that Xu and the others had caught them in during a recent mission to Trabia.

But they were trying to keep each other warm for Hyne's sake! Obviously the others didn't know how cold it can get up there.

"It's not fair, Irvy!" Selphie whined. "Why did this have to happen?"

Because Xu told Cid as soon as they got back, he had officially banned them from sharing a dorm and also to be alone together during missions. This absolutely infuriated them both.

"Well, what's done is done," Irvine said and pressed the call button for the elevator. "I guess we just have to face the others and pretend that it had never happened."

The elevator doors flew open and they walked in, Selphie pressed the button and the elevator descended.

"It's been a year since the war and they still can't trust us to be alone together. We need to prove that we can."

Irvine rubbed the back of his neck. He had to agree with the fact that Selphie can be a very convincing person when he wanted to be. In this case, he wanted to do the same thing.

"So, what do ya propose we do 'bout it?" Irvine asked the young woman.

Selphie looked up at the cowboy and gave him an evil smile, a smile that he knew that meant that Selphie was up to no good.

"I reckon if we can't do it, then I think that they shouldn't either."

Irvine cocked his head at this and the elevator opens and they walked out.

"Think about it Irvine. Why do you think everyone spends so much time at a particular spot in this Garden?"

Irvine began to think for a moment, until it had suddenly hit him.

"Of course," he replied and the two of them walked to a nearby bench. He and Selphie sat down. "Let's make a mental list of the people and their locations."

Selphie nodded.

"I know for a fact when Zell is in Quistis' classroom that he brings that girl from the Library in and…"

Irvine raised his hands.

"Whoa! No need to go further," he said. "Anyway, what do you think Xu and Nida get up to on the bridge when no one is up there?"

"Hang on! How do you know what they get up to?"

Irvine chuckled.

"Just say the noises coming out of Xu were more than enough to convince me of that."

"Ok then, we have Zell and Xu," Selphie checked the list. "How about Squall and Rinoa? I think one day when I was walking down to the infirmary that I heard moaning from there, maybe it was them."

Irvine nodded.

"Of course, because Kadowaki is on holiday's at the moment and Rinoa has the place to herself, all day long," Irvine concluded. "And now the final pair, why do you think the Secret Area is so special for Quistis?"

Selphie shrugged her shoulders.

"Because she's always in there with Seifer."

Irvine nodded and winked.

"Bingo! Now all we need to do is get evidence and show Cid."

"I think I have a camera that we can use," Selphie said. "Let's go and meet up with them."

The two of them got up and walked down the stairs.

* * *

A/N: There is the first part done. The plot will thicken in the next few chapters.


	2. Operation: Rat Out

Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or anything related to it, they are the property of Square.

Warnings: LIME, swearing.

**

* * *

**

****

**Part Two: Operation: Rat Out**

"I hope that Selphie and Irvine aren't too mad at us," Rinoa said as the gang sat at their usual table in the cafeteria. "I mean, they wouldn't say anything if it were us in that position."

Zell scoffed down a hotdog and looked over at her.

"Yeah, but…it was them and knowing Irvine the next time it could have been done in public."

"Zell, you're maybe right," Quistis said and placed down her third cup of coffee. "But I think Rinoa might have a point, it was unfair on them."

There was a bang on the table. Everyone looked over at Seifer, who had banged his fist on the table and was laughing hysterically.

"Unfair?" he asked rhetorically and stopped laughing. "It was their fault that we happen to catch them at the wrong time, but maybe it would teach them not to do it when they know that they would get caught."

Squall nodded at his former rival.

"Agreed, there is obviously a time and place for it," he said. "And a mission is not the right place to be doing that sort of thing."

"Hi everyone!" Selphie's chirpy voice came from behind them.

The group stiffened, realising that the couple of the hour were approaching them.

"Hi you two," Rinoa greeted with a smile. "How are things?"

Irvine and Selphie gave her a smile, trying not to crack up into laughter.

"Never better," Selphie replied and sat down next to Zell.

"Yeah, things are goin' great," Irvine followed up and sat down next to Quistis. "No problems at all."

A beep of a watch sounded. Zell looked down and saw that it was his. He stood up and waved at everyone.

"Well I gotta go,.." he said. "I have…uh…I have to go and help out a cadet who is struggling with their martial arts."

He ran off. Selphie and Irvine exchanged a glance, knowing that it's show time. The two of them got up.

"Well then, I have to go and continue decorating for the Garden Festival," Selphie said. "You want to help Irvine?"

Irvine shook his head.

"Sorry, but I have to go and give Exeter a service," he replied. But I'll come over later and help out."

"Okay then!"

Selphie and Irvine took off and the others were left stunned to what they had just witnessed.

"They were here for five minutes and they're gone again," Seifer spoke up. "That is strange."

Quistis placed a hand under her chin, she began to think of a plausible explanation.

"I think they might be up to something. It's not like them to go in their own separate directions."

Rinoa chuckled and checked her watch.

"Well, I need to get back to the infirmary," she announced and stood up. "Squall, are you coming? I need your assistance with something."

Squall nodded and stood up.

"Make sure you lock those doors when you get there!" Seifer called out as they walked away, Quistis glared at him. "Don't want any cadets to become scarred for life!"

Squall shook his head.

"…Whatever."

He and Rinoa walked out and Seifer began to laugh loudly. Quistis sighed and elbowed him in the ribs and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Hyne, you can be such an asshole."

The ex-knight raised his hands.

"Come on, you gotta admit that it was fuckin' hilarious. Don't whip me over it."

Quistis stood up.

"Let's go and train at the Secret Area. I'm going to make you pay for this."

Seifer mentally smiled, knowing what she meant.

'Hell yeah, I win again.'

He got up and followed the instructor out.

* * *

Zell was on top of Quistis' desk in the classroom, pinning the Library Girl with pigtails underneath him. They were both half-dressed and he was biting at her neck after they had finished.

"Zell…I never knew that you do that…" she breathed. "Wow!"

He smirked against the smooth skin of her neck.

"I surprise myself sometimes too," he said softly.

The two of them continued each other's comfort on that desk, unaware that a certain couple were waiting outside. The door slid open and a click immediately followed afterwards. They both turned their heads towards the door.

"What the fuck was that?" Zell asked. "Hopefully it wasn't Quistis or otherwise we would be in serious trouble."

The girl underneath him laughed.

"Well it is her classroom after all, she has every right to be in here at anytime."

Meanwhile, the two people responsible were running down the corridor.

"Man, I think I was gettin' sick just hearing it," Irvine said.

Selphie giggled.

"Do you have a voice recorder?" she asked. "Because we're gonna need it for the next one."

* * *

Moan…another moan followed. Irvine and Selphie were on the ground, listening to what was happening up on the bridge. Irvine was holding his stomach, resisting the urge to throw up in the plant next to him.

"Hyne, I think if Cid were in his office more often that this wouldn't be happening." Irvine whispered. "Her and Nida, that's sick!"

Selphie nudged him quiet and continued to record.

"…Ohhh…Xu…" Nida's voice moaned. "Xu…I…I don't think I can last any longer."

There was a snap, possibly from a whip.

"Shut up Nida and keep going," Xu demanded and there was another crack. "Be grateful that Quistis allowed me to borrow her old Chain Whip. She thinks that I'm training with it."

Irvine and Selphie looked at each other, trying not to gag.

"I think we better go," she whispered and turned off the recorder. "This is sufficient evidence."

They quietly backed out of the room and towards the elevator.

* * *

A/N: With those loose, I think the other two pairs should watch out. Happy reading!


	3. The Big Catch

Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or anything related to it, they are the property of Square.

Warnings: LIME, swearing

**

* * *

**

**Part Three: The Big Catch**

"This is just too perfect," Selphie said as she watched the video footage on a small television in the infirmary. No one was there when they arrived. "I can't believe that they are oblivious to the cameras in the place."

Irvine snickered as he continued to watch a half-naked Squall and Rinoa on one of the examination tables.

"Squall…we shouldn't be doing this on the tables," Rinoa moaned. "They have to remain clean…ohhh…ahhh."

"Then we'll just have to clean them at the end, don't we?"

"But you're the commander of this Garden and…ahhh…Squall…"

Irvine and Selphie laughed. Selphie switched off the television and ejected the tape.

"One more to go," Irvine said and grabbed the tape to put it into his coat. "I think we have saved the best 'til last. The biggest catch of them all."

Selphie nodded.

"Yep, the former knight and the ice queen in the flesh."

"What's going on here?" Rinoa asked as she walked in. "Is there something wrong?"

The two of them stood up and walked past her.

"Oh, I wanted to see you about something," Selphie lied. "But it can wait until later, see you at dinner."

Rinoa watched them leave.

'They're up to something,' she thought. 'Just as Quistis predicted. I have to talk to everyone else.'

She picked up the phone of f the desk and dialled the number for Squall's office.

"Squall, it's me," she said. "I think we need to gather everyone and go to the Training Centre."

Squall sighed.

"Why?"

"Because they are unarmed and Irvine possibly couldn't have his weapon on him as he said he was getting it serviced."

Squall swore.

"Shit, we better get down there before Cid finds out about it."

They hung up the phone and Rinoa ran out of the infirmary.

* * *

Meanwhile, unaware of what was going to happen. Seifer and Quistis were in Secret Area, alone. Seifer had his hands tied to the railing with Save the Queen, biting at the young instructor's neck as she rocked up and down, they were both on the brink of climax.

"…Oh Hyne," Seifer groaned as his head rolled back in pleasure. "Don't stop…"

Quistis picked up the pace, enjoying the fact of having Seifer like this was just pure ecstasy.

"Seifer…" she moaned.

They were nearly at their peak just as they heard a click of a camera. Quistis stopped and the couple looked in the direction of the entrance. Selphie and Irvine were standing there, smirking. Irvine held a camera and was taking pictures while Selphie was filming on her camcorder.

"Ha! Got ya!" Selphie exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Irvine felt a budge and closed up his jacket to hide it.

"Hmm…now what to do to with you two…"

"Irvine! Selphie!" Rinoa's voice came from behind and the naked couple on the ground stiffened as they had more people coming to witness the awkward moment.

However, it wasn't Irvine or Selphie this time. Rinoa, Squall, Xu, Zell, the Library Girl and Nida were all standing there, wides widened by the sight and their jaws dropped.

Seifer rolled his eyes and stared at them.

"Go on take a picture, it lasts longer."

Selphie and Irvine laughed.

"We already did," Selphie said and looked back at the others. "Of all of you!"

Everyone's stares turned to them, trying to comprehend what they got up to.

"Oh my…this is payback for what did to you?" Xu gasped. "We're sorry."

The couple smirked.

"Oh, you will be," Irvine said. "All of you will be, once Cid sees that we have uncovered Balamb's finest and their dirty, little secrets."

* * *

Later they all had gathered in Cid's third floor office, watching as the older man's eyes gazed at the photographs and the video footage as well as listening to the audio recording of Xu and Nida. He looked around at them and then rested his eyes at Irvine and Selphie.

"Is there anymore?" he asked evenly.

Irvine nodded and gave him the final tape and photograph of the Secret Area. Cid nodded and placed the tape into the video player, everyone saw two familiar blondes in the footage before Cid saw enough of it.

"I'm grateful that you've shown me this you two," Cid finally said after a moment. "But this doesn't put you into the clear."

Irvine and Selphie nodded.

"Understood, sir," Irvine said. "We're just trying to make things right."

Cid nodded at him.

"Ok, you and Selphie are dismissed."

The two youths nodded and rushed out of the room. Cid turned his attention to the six that stood in front of him.

"Well then, I guess that you know what happens now…"

"Come on headmaster, it was just a coincidence that they caught us," Xu said. "How did they know?"

Quistis slapped her forehead at her friend's comment.

"Well we were in places that people could gain easy access to," she said. "They sure showed us a lesson."

"Well I'm not doing that again, in public," Rinoa said.

"Same here," Zell and the Library Girl said at the same time.

Seifer chuckled.

"Oh well, the Secret Area has finally lost its reputation as I will never go in there doing that sort of thing again."

Cid cleared his throat and stopped the flow of conversation.

"Ok then, since you six are remorseful I will let you off with a warning," he explained clearly. "If anyone commits an indecent act in this Garden again, they will be strung up on the stage of the Quad with nothing but their birthday suit for all of Garden to see."

Suddenly, the six of them thought of an idea. But they had to get out of the office.

"Sir, are we dismissed?" Squall asked.

Cid nodded.

"Yes, now go before I change my mind."

They saluted him and walked out.

* * *

A/N: Lol, no wonder why the 'Secret Area' was so special to Quistis, even though it never happened in the game. Final part coming up.


	4. Payback's a Bitch

A/N: Well here is the final part. I guess that Selphie and Irvine are about to realise payback is a real bitch.

Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or anything related to it, they are the property of Square.

Warnings: Swearing, nudity.

* * *

**Part Four: Payback's a Bitch**

Irvine and Selphie were wandering around the main hall, hand in hand as they soaked up the taste of victory. It may have been harsh as it happened to happen to their closest friends, but if they didn't go and blab to Cid about Trabia, none of it would have happened.

"I wonder if they're gonna be mad at us," Selphie said quietly so that people could barely hear them. "Did we go overboard do you think?"

They stopped and Irvine looked down at her.

"Who knows, but what's done is done…"

"There they are!" Zell's voice echoed throughout the hall. They turned around and saw him, Rinoa and the Library Girl running towards them, stopping just a few metres away. "We've been looking all over for ya!"

The couple raised an eyebrow. The trio didn't seem mad, but happy to see them in a way.

"Hey, thought that'd you be mad at us," Irvine said, confused.

Zell held out his hand.

"Who gives a fuck about that stuff," he replied.

"Yes, we're here to make peace by offering you two out for a drink while we're docked at Dollet," Rinoa explained. "So how about it?"

The couple exchanged glances and nodded.

"Sure thin', when are we going?" Irvine asked.

"We're thinking now since Squall, Quistis and the others are already over there."

Selphie jumped up into the air.

"Well then, what are we waiting for!"

She ran ahead and the other four followed her.

_

* * *

_

_The next morning…_

'Ugh…my head…' Irvine thought groggily. 'This bed feels hard for some reason and I feel bare skin on my…bare skin?'

He opened one eye and then the other one snapped open. He frantically looked around while he tried to grasp where he was. Irvine looked down into what was in his arms, Selphie. She was in there in all her naked glory and he came to the realisation that he too was like that.

"What the fuck?"

Selphie stirred out of her sleep and Irvine started to fear the worst.

"Ahhh!" Selphie screamed and cocked her head back to try and see him. "What the hell is this?"

Irvine looked down at their position. He was positioned behind her, his hands on her hips and he could see the reflection of the glass her reaction…

'Glass?' then it hit him. 'We're in the fuckin' elevator!'

They both tried to stand up, but it was no use. A whip was tied around them and ironically it was a very familiar whip…

The elevator started to move and they both could hear the noises of people.

"Oh no…" Both Irvine and Selphie said in unison as the elevator stopped and the doors flew open.

Their eyes widened as a large number of cadets and instructors were gazing at the compromising position. Then everyone erupted in laughter and cheering. The naked couple then looked around and saw who was responsible.

Quistis was laughing, leaning onto Seifer to stay standing up. Rinoa was rolling around on the floor, Squall was smiling and shaking his head with Xu, Nida and the Library Girl. Zell and Seifer had their arms around each other's shoulder, laughing to the point of their sides splitting.

"What's going on here?" A voice boomed over the cheering crowds.

Everyone turned to look to see who the voice belonged to…Cid.

The headmaster approached the elevator and his eyes widened at the sight before him.

"Irvine…Selphie…I can't believe this, again."

The couple shook their heads in disbelief.

"Headmaster…it wasn't our fault, it was…"

"Enough!" Cid raised his voice. "No, restriction wasn't enough for the two of you…we need to take things up a notch."

He looked over to Quistis.

"Can I please borrow one of your old whips?"

Quistis nodded.

"I'll go get it, where is it going?"

"Remember that threat I made yesterday."

The six standing near him nodded.

"Well, bring the whip there…"

_

* * *

_

_Fifteen minutes later…_

"Come on, this is just ridiculous!" Irvine yelled out as the crowd around the stage gathered. "Can't we just talk about it?"

Quistis and Seifer finished tying the whip around his and Selphie's wrists.

"Sorry cowboy, but orders are orders," Quistis whispered into his ear and she started to climb down the ladder.

"But, aren't we meant to be friends?"

Seifer climbed down and threw an arm over Quistis' shoulder.

"Oh, we still are, but maybe this will teach you that payback is a real bitch of a thing," he said and then smirked. "Well then, my job is done here, I think I'll go and get some sleep since we partied so hard last night."

He and Quistis walked away and everyone started to laugh and cheer at the couple suspended on a beam hovering over the stage.

Selphie sighed.

"Maybe we need to accept this and learn from it."

Irvine nodded.

"Yeah I know what ya sayin'. But think about it, I got to take some video footage of the one in the Secret Area."

Selphie tried to kick him, but couldn't as their ankles were bound together.

"Oh well, we may as well enjoy the moment."

They remained quiet and just smiled to the crowd, trying their best to soak up the attention of the awkward situation that the dirty, little secrets had caused.

* * *

A/N: Well then, payback doesn't always end up with happy endings for some. These were just some thoughts that I had while reading a few other fanfics that I have read a long time ago. I hope you enjoyed it and please read and review my other works. Thank you.


End file.
